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Oarsman

from Varuna by The Republic Of Wolves

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lyrics

I woke up sweating on the moaning mount of olives 
My black dove penance weighing down my feather feet 
Woven into my skin, the covenants I'd broken 
My granite heart will not forget what it once was. 

A coffer full of your love 
I couldn't bear it. 

I don't believe I ever had a choice 
When the sun came up and my eyes were struck 
I don't believe I could've changed my mind 
In the dead end heat of that withered beach 
With my grave stone teeth and your seven shades of grief 

We were unleavened earth before the first unsettled word fell 
They drew the devil's iris in between your brows 
Accursed breath that left our bodies when the day broke 
Who built that weary wooden cabinet for your faith? 

All these doors I see 
mean nothing to me. 

I don't believe I ever had a choice 
When we lost our sight to the teething night 
I don't believe I could've changed my mind 
When the seeds were sown and then left alone 
How could I have known I was never on my own? 

Oh God, I feel like every saintly fire was my fault. 

That I got crossed off of the wall 
and my fingers all bloodied and torn 
and it's just a lie, 
a poor excuse for all the fumes
that I spit out back when I was young, 
and god damn the truth, 
I was unused, 
an empty glass, 
an oarsman and no one knew my name. 

I am not welcome in this house I built. 

credits

from Varuna, track released November 30, 2010

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