No Matter How Narrow

by The Republic Of Wolves

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1.
03:09
There's a flock that I must tend Where each looks the same as the next But there's some that don't belong And I'm smoking them out Still I'm afraid that it might hurt 'Cause they've all been with me since birth An assignment that I wish I had declined I've been strung up in my belief A humanism that does not apply to me That makes excuses for my knees Like I've been leaning on the inconsistencies There's a cold that I must catch Living well in all that I've said And I feel it coming on Unless it's all in my head But you were up at 2 AM Figuring out what it meant That all those sins were really sicknesses And nobody's to blame Oh, if I could go an hour Without wondering what chapter I am in Maybe I'd find the plot There's a flock that I must tend Grazing inside of my head But there's some that don't belong So I'm giving them hell.
2.
04:53
I was up to my neck in apologies For the war they had waged over me Two ill-tempered ideas Tearing down the house Guess I've been loaning it out To the wrong crowd So there's another heart That plays the part of mine Forgetting all the lines But it beats right And I'm off to the side Or somewhere in the seats Just trying to keep the peace Did we forget the cost (Something got me to give you up) Of living good and lost? (Someone told me there's no "enough") Our loyalties divided (Somehow took it to mean the worst) And cast across (If there's a reason just make sure that you get there first) I was down with the strays seeking charity Wondering if I could seem deserving Couldn't see what became of the family crest A realization my pride couldn't digest But if there's another key That gets you through the door You won't know what it was for 'Till it's too late 'Cause I'm diving through the trash And there's nothing but belief All rotten in the heat I couldn't get it past you The pain that had gotten used to me While you planted salt like seeds In my every open wound The tireless glare of the brake lights The collars that hugged us too tight The crack of my caustic voice Made a mockery of me A travesty of what I tried to be But did you get there first Or did the vessels burst? Did we offend the water And die of thirst? My head is going south Just trying to hammer out A less complicated route To the wrong place And I couldn't bear the cross So I'm holding it aloft Just auctioning it off.
3.
03:44
I'm shrugging off the cold Just to be polite I'm living like a prophet With stage fright I'm falling into place But still the timing's not right Yeah that's a fire I just can't seem to light Never wanted to repeat myself It's better now to just say nothing Been living off of borrowed words For way too long But have you had the honor yet Of ever being truly hopeless? Have you just been pretending like me? I'm tracking down the cold Now that it's finally gone I'm living like a prophet Who can't move on I'm falling into place But still the timing's all wrong Well I guess I just can't wait that long And I feel like I'm always running out My palette's gone all gray again So it's no surprise that all we heard Was the screaming of the wind 'Cause that is all I've ever been Feels like I'm always running out My palette's gone all gray again So there's no surprise when all you hear Is a record on repeat 'Cause that is all I'll ever be.
4.
For once I think I'll try To leave the truth untied I know that you'll realize This is all we have And there's nowhere worthwhile now If there's a cause for every window That I jump through Then I'll be taking my time with this If there's an auction for your insights Then count me in But I'll be taking my time with this If there's a simple explanation That we left for dead Then I'll be nursing it back to health And there's a paradox I'm keeping Beside my bed And it's nursing me back to health I know I'm grasping at straws now I know you'll never get the reference You think that I believe in something You'll see that ladder, it leads to nothing For once I think I'll try To cull the falsehoods from my mind I'm coming back to find This is all we have And there's nowhere worthwhile now.
5.
04:31
How did it get away from me? How did it get away from me? What did it say when I lost my way Just to make sure that I had something to say? Enough with the ceremony Our hands have looked like that for years There's nothing new about it But everyone's a pioneer Seems so arbitrary To hold a funeral for our youth A foregone conclusion That we drew up in the dark and gave into And I knew that mistake Was all we had built So much for perfection It broke us down How did it get away from me? I've been watching the gate From the first day How did it get away from me? What did they say when I pined away Over a fault I could never quite rephrase? Enough with the coronations There's no one left who isn't king Of something arbitrary That's why I'm looking for a crown to pick apart We're just collecting flies in jars A Reconquista in our yard A war I never had to start So if I'm off the reservation it's your fault And I knew that regret Was measured in miles So much for intentions They left us behind.
6.
04:00
We're all holding onto banisters 'Cause it's a long way It's a long way down And the enemy of common sense Is a loose grip in a steep stairwell So toss me to and fro 'Till I condemn the very scent Of being still And we'll litter all the way Shed all our trappings For the rest to wade through No matter how narrow is our path And we could never name our burdens Still they pained us all the same I never knew my context But that's just fine Yeah I'm stuck outside of my shaking mind I never felt an insight So ill-defined Never compromise if you've still got time So we're all ordaining ministers 'Cause we can't keep No we can't keep clean We've been deferring to a hypocrite With a kind voice and a loud idea He divided up the races With a pencil and the book of Genesis And sorted us into companies and colonies All pitted up against each other No matter how common is our cause I was a visionary 'till I sold my vision You were a missionary who misplaced your mission I collected up my fillings and my crowns And went to sleep without a sound To distribute all my thoughts Among inanimate depictions Of myself.
7.
We all have come close But do we ever die? The ones who seem to get so far Don't say that word So it's second-hand It's an inference It's arithmetic We learned a dying tongue To keep our secrets safe But there is no speech these weathered walls Can't understand Still the odds are on the cheaper man I looked the other way When my brother went and lost his mind I looked the other way When my captain turned against his creed And sold all his sacred shares to me.
8.
03:53
You thought you could free the slaves By filling out the proper paperwork 'Till you turned out all your pockets And realized they never were You pulled your kids out of the public school And resigned to your irreverence And you set a torch to the old duck blind Where your heartache took up residence You were all dressed up But you didn't know what All the commotion inside you was for What did we expect After all that shame? Some familiar stretch of crippling faith? What did we expect After all that fear? Some inheritance To make the past run clear? Thought we could concentrate just hard enough To let those feelings in We were both stuck in the turning lane But that's where we've always been I guess we took our love in one big dose And retired to the peasantry Saying "paradise exists But it is locked away inside our memories" You couldn't sit still Not while you knew well That all the commotion Was held in your name.
9.
03:44
I clawed through the print and found you Living between parentheses Venturing out in springtime To make sure the phone was off the hook You said "I guess it's all prefigured We're living out some old typology" Like ribbons of rolling water Inching up on the wall Where you'd marked your height I still haven't seen you up close So why was the porch light on? How could I trust you the most When you couldn't trust yourself? Our love was a lurid spice trade Every day a wilderness We lost all the wealth we'd died for In the red and the gold of being sure You said "I made a conscious effort To get all my vertebrae aligned, But what's a posture worth If it straightens you out first?" But I was a victim like you My shoplifted grace in hand But how could you know me so well When i couldn't know myself? Are we supposed to forget? How can we really forget? I don't think that anybody really forgets Their frozen feet They're all we can see.
10.
I never knew it 'till it passed Was always covered in a cast I was constructed of a cloth That couldn't last So now I'm barely blood and flesh Just an anatomic sketch Coming to find this may be as solid as we get Calm Well that's just what they'll keep me But what'd it ever get me But a fumbling peace of mind? I heard they hunt it down in droves Something they'll never really know Guess I was just another stone They couldn't throw I sent a letter to the state That they could not transliterate And felt the brittle gnashing teeth Of "it's too late" So what? I caught it on a tripwire The entire Orange Empire And joined in with the crash And swallowed all the ash.
11.
I've been clearing the air Of every connection we had lost What a criminal thought That you gave so much room to multiply And it left you to soak in conversations With a door you could not close And I was intertwined for the first time With my own lies As we both crossed a devastating line In the flood tide It never mattered why When we chose sides, we were both right I've been opening mail Addressed to the man I used to be What a cynical voice That retreats from my lips each time I speak What a practical joke But you let it have you Didn't that just prove my point? Was it enough for you The vessel they poured you into? Was all the damage done? Out in the saffron field You were so aggravated Missing your chance to make your mark So you tore apart what you had left inside your chest But if you regret taking that step You haven't yet So I threw it all back The love that I didn't yet deserve And it's ringing us out As though it was suffering Through everything that I've done So it's over my head How everything washes up again 'Cause I spent most of my life ruling things out Sinking my teeth into your every bit of doubt If I was coming clean Would it reach you? From what I've seen it was all true There's so much left to grieve Couldn't hurt you to leave it be Just for one day Just to see straight.

credits

released December 17, 2013

All Songs Written by The Republic Of Wolves.
Produced By The Republic Of Wolves
Mixed by Mason Maggio
Mastered by Alex Saltz
Cover Art By Ben Kehoe

The Republic Of Wolves is: Gregg Andrew Dellarocca, Mason Maggio, Christian Van Deurs, and Billy Duprey

Supporting Musicians:
Dan Gluzak (Drums on Tracks 1-5, 7-11)
Will Noon (Drums on Track 6)
Natalie Kress (Violin on Tracks 6, 8, 11)
Nate Dimeo (Spoken Word on Track 8)

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